Subtitle: How to Negotiate Your Salary Without Anxiety, Without Losing Offers, and Without Coming Across as a Mercenary
Disclaimer #1:
I wrote this guide because there’s never enough talk about money. As I mentioned in the subtitle, it’s not about being greedy—it’s about being aware, understanding your worth, and having open conversations about compensation.
After many years of interviews, working with companies and candidates, hearing “we’d like to pay x” and “I’d like to earn y,” talking to communities, attending events, and seeing questions like, “Guys, the company offered me x, what should I do?”, I realized there’s a need for practical advice on this topic.
A couple of things to keep in mind BEFORE you read this guide:
Disclaimer #2:
Much of this guide was created with the help of AI—not as a lazy copy-paste, but as a collaborative effort to organize, improve, and reflect on the best advice, with references and real data.
Alright, let’s get started!
🔧 1. Negotiation Is a Technical Skill
💼 2. Before the Interview: Prepare the Ground
📈 3. Play Your Cards Right
🛠️ 4. Serious Negotiation
🏢 5. The Counteroffer
🛠️ 6. How to Ask for a Raise
🔮 7. Bonus: Advanced Negotiation
🌵 8. Bonus #2: Junior vs Senior
💡 9. Bonus #3: Freelancers
Why you need to learn to negotiate (spoiler: it’s part of your professional toolkit)
TL;DR:
If you don’t know how to negotiate, you lose money—always. And most of the time, you won’t even realize it. Many see negotiation as something dirty, manipulative, or “salesy.” Spoiler: it’s the opposite.
Negotiation means ensuring your work is valued properly. It’s a conversation, not a conflict. It’s a discussion between two sides that want to collaborate but have different interests: the company wants to pay you as little as possible, and you need to make your value clear (professionally, personally, and with your past experience).
In real life, there aren’t invisible quests that get completed in the background just because you’re writing good code. If you want your value recognized, you need to negotiate for it. I’ve known so many talented people who’ve missed out simply because they didn’t speak up.
Negotiating doesn’t mean tricking the other side—it means finding an agreement that works for both parties. It’s a communication skill, but also an analytical one; there are entire books on negotiation techniques. In my view, negotiating is as much a technical skill as optimizing a SQL query. If you can do that, you can optimize your salary too.
Failing to negotiate is expensive. Every time you accept an offer without asking questions, or you say “that’s fine” even when you’re not convinced, or you don’t ask for a raise because “the time isn’t right,” you’re giving away money, time, and bargaining power.
Negotiating means taking responsibility for the value you bring, the person you are, the problems you solve, the business you help grow, and the experiences you’ve accumulated. No one will hand you what you deserve—not because the world is mean, but because only you know your true contribution and potential. If you don’t speak up, it’ll stay invisible.
This guide will help you treat negotiation as it should be treated: not as a magical talent for people who are naturally persuasive, but as a set of tools, strategies, and mindsets you can learn—just like anything else.
How many times have you heard or thought,
“If I do my job well, someone will eventually notice.”
False. COMPLETELY FALSE.
The workplace isn’t a video game where you just grind and eventually get a legendary sword. Without awareness, visibility, and negotiation, your value remains invisible. And that’s a loss for everyone.
Every time you:
In five years, a developer who never negotiates can lose tens of thousands of euros. And sometimes, you’ll see less competent people getting ahead simply because they know their worth.
Know your market value
Before you even write your CV, send applications, or even think about looking for a job, it’s ESSENTIAL to know how much you’re worth on the market.
Start with OBJECTIVE, measurable elements—things you can check online. For up-to-date salary data, use sources like Glassdoor, Levels.fyi, or salary surveys in tech communities.
Next, add your own SUBJECTIVE and personal factors:
How much do you need to live? What’s your target salary? Remote, hybrid, or on-site? Do you want a company car? Are you willing to travel?
Besides numbers, analyze the company: size, industry, growth stage, and culture all affect what kind of compensation packages they can offer.
IMPORTANT: Before the interview, avoid disclosing your current salary or payslip. Why? Because sharing these lets the company anchor their offer to your previous salary, not your market value.
It’s legal for them to ask, but equally legal for you to refuse.
Also, it’s best to talk about salary EARLY, even at the first contact (with recruiters, HR, headhunters, whoever). Say something like, “I’m looking for a range between x and y.” This way:
The interview is not an exam; you’re not there to be judged.
You’re there to see if the offer is right for you—just as much as they’re evaluating you. Remember, interviews are always a two-way street: the company chooses you, but you choose the company too.
Many developers enter interviews passively, as if they just have to hope it all works out (“I’ll just take what they offer”). That’s the wrong approach.
As mentioned before: talking about salary? The sooner, the better. Avoiding the salary topic until they bring it up is one of the most common mistakes. The later you discuss salary, the greater the risk of misunderstandings or misaligned expectations.
You don’t have to give an exact number right away, but at least clarify:
Another useful (and basic) tip: ASK QUESTIONS. You’re not just there to answer; you’re there to ask! Good questions can help you understand the company and role much better.
(Here’s a good list of tech communities: Awesome Italian Tech Communities)
At this stage, your goal isn’t to seem perfect (no one is, and the perfect company doesn’t exist). It’s about making sure you’re the right choice for each other.
Being clear about what you want doesn’t make you arrogant—it makes you alignable. And it helps the company build a suitable offer.
Example:
“Based on my current role and the benchmarks I’ve gathered, I’m looking for a range between 45K and 55K, depending on remote policy and benefits. What range do you usually offer for this type of position?”
According to Payscale, people who don’t negotiate their starting salary lose, on average, $1 million over their careers (data from the US, but the principle applies everywhere).
And according to Hired’s State of Salaries Report, developers who state too low a salary expectation typically receive offers 10-15% below the market average for the same role.
You finally get an offer. Now what?
When you receive an offer, it’s not the end—it’s the start of real negotiation. Even if the offer seems good, you don’t have to say “yes” right away. You need to evaluate it carefully.
A salary alone doesn’t tell the whole story. Here’s what to consider before you reply:
Can you negotiate any of these? Spoiler: ALMOST EVERYTHING! For example:
Pro tip: If they can’t increase the salary, ask for real-value benefits. If a company says “we can’t raise your salary, but we really want you,” they should show it!
Practical Example:
Imagine two offers, both with the same salary:
Offer A: 40K salary + full remote + €2,000 training budget + health insurance + top company laptop.
Offer B: 40K salary + 3 days on-site + no training + old laptop + a pat on the back.
On paper, they have the same salary, but A gives you more chances to grow, learn, and live better.
According to Stack Overflow’s Developer Survey, 63% of developers said they would choose a company with more flexibility or growth opportunities, even at the same salary. And 40% of those who negotiated got better offers.
Levels.fyi reports that in top US tech companies, good negotiation can get you 10% more equity and 15–20% more bonus. Even in Italy, a well-done counteroffer can make a difference.
Making a counteroffer isn’t rude or ungrateful—it’s a normal, healthy part of any negotiation.
Anyone making you an offer expects you to negotiate, more or less explicitly. How you do it matters, but the fact that you do it is a good sign—it shows you know your worth and care about the opportunity.
Be specific! Don’t just say, “I’d like a bit more.” Say, “I expected a salary closer to 55K, based on the role, my background, and the benchmarks I found.”
Make your case, don’t beg! You’re not asking for a favor—you’re making a reasonable proposal based on data and your added value. Highlight your experience, impact, autonomy, and any step up in responsibility.
Be open! Don’t build walls—try to be assertive but collaborative. For example: “I’d like to find a middle ground that recognizes the value I bring and fits the role.”
Don’t go into ultimatum mode! Unless you’re ready to walk away, avoid things like, “Give me 10K more or nothing.” Better: “What’s holding me back from accepting today is the gap in salary—if we can bridge it, I’d be happy to join.”
Get it in writing! If you negotiate by phone or video call, always send a quick written summary afterward. Clarity helps everyone.
Practical Example:
Email:
Hi [Name],
Thank you for the offer and for your openness during the process.
I’m excited about the project and would be happy to join [company name].
I’ve carefully reviewed the terms, and compared to my expectations (based on role, responsibilities, and market benchmarks), I was hoping for a slightly higher offer: ideally closer to [amount].
If we can get closer to that range—even considering benefits or alternatives to pure salary—I’d be thrilled to accept and start working together.
Thanks again,
[Your Name]
This kind of email is empathetic, leaves room for discussion, and shows you’ve thought things through.
What if they say no?
That’s part of the game. You have two options:
You got the job. Months or years go by, but something’s off: for the work you do, the value you bring, or the projects you manage, you’re not happy with your compensation.
First myth to bust:
“If I do good work, they’ll notice.”
Well, not really. Truly “enlightened” companies (or, honestly, just “normal” ones) are rare. Most managers are busy and don’t have a spreadsheet tracking your impact. If you don’t ask, you risk being overlooked. Meanwhile, inflation keeps ticking.
When should you ask for a raise?
Some scenarios where it makes sense:
When NOT to ask:
How to ask for a raise:
Prepare a mini dossier/slides/Excel/Canva/whatever, and present (at the right time, to the right people):
Make a clear request, like:
“I’d like to discuss a possible salary adjustment. Over the past 12 months, my role has grown a lot—I’m now managing X, I’ve delivered Y, and brought Z value.”
Be open to dialogue! Sometimes you’ll get a yes right away; other times, they’ll say, “maybe in three months.” If so, ask to schedule a follow-up. If they say, “let’s see later,” ask for a written commitment. Always get things in writing.
Supporting research:
If they say “no” to a raise:
If, after all this, you realize it’ll never happen:
If the “no” is final, or there’s no real intent to recognize your value, you have two options:
The fear of seeming “too much,” “ungrateful,” or “difficult” is real. Many devs talk about impostor syndrome, feeling blocked, or getting anxious just thinking about asking for more money (especially if you grew up hearing “if you work hard, you’ll be rewarded” or “talking about money is vulgar”).
Spoiler: it’s NOT vulgar. Second spoiler: you’re not weird for feeling this way. No one teaches you how to negotiate (it took me years to learn through trial and error!).
This section gives you practical tools to negotiate better—even if the thought of asking for more makes you anxious.
Practice “gentle disarmament”:
If you’re making a bold request (like, “I’d like 10K more”), you can soften your tone without weakening your message. For example: “Based on my research and experience, I think a range closer to [amount] would be fair. What do you think?”
Practice out loud!
It might feel silly, but it helps. Many people freeze up when talking about money. Practice your pitch until you feel comfortable.
Leave room for silence:
Once you make your request, don’t rush to fill the silence. Make your case, then pause. Listen to the room (or the call)—the next move is theirs.
Negotiation isn’t a one-size-fits-all skill; it changes a lot depending on where you are in your career. Whether you’re junior, mid-level, or senior, you should—and can—negotiate, but the dynamics are different.
If you’re at the beginning (first 0–2 years), it’s normal to feel in a weaker position. You don’t (yet) have a long list of references or real projects to show.
But as a junior, you can highlight more than you think. Your education matters: if you’ve done a serious bootcamp, attended a good university, earned a technical master’s degree, or taken intensive online courses, that counts!
At this stage, your goal isn’t to squeeze out the highest possible salary (or be obsessed with full remote—though I’m a big fan). It’s about getting experience, learning, and building your reputation.
If you’re senior, after years of experience and real projects, the game changes. You’re no longer “selling potential”—you’re selling proven impact and reliability.
And then there are “mids”—the ambiguous middle ground. You have more experience than a junior but not all the leverage of a senior. It’s the trickiest phase: you may feel stuck in between, but it’s also where you can accelerate your growth.
Setting your rates isn’t guesswork!
If you’re a freelancer, negotiation is essential to your professional survival. It’s not just about getting paid well—it’s about building a sustainable business, not just “getting by.”
The most common mistake? Thinking like an employee with a VAT number. If they say, “We’ll pay you €2,000 a month, but you’re freelance, working only for us, with fixed hours and agreed vacations, and nothing more,” that’s not real freelancing.
Don’t set your rates just by copying what others ask on LinkedIn (though comparing notes in communities is healthy—just don’t stop there).
If you’re a freelancer and still thinking in terms of “salary translated to self-employment,” you’re starting on the wrong foot. The right question isn’t “How much can I earn?” but “How much do I need to earn to live well, cover expenses, and invest in my business?”